My Grand-daughter, Lauren.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Sunday, December 18, 2005
MICHAEL AND LAUREN SPEAK
What a honor!!!
Listening to a story read by Santa Claus.
I love you Michael and Lauren!
Enjoy the wonder of Santa!
Bama aka Mary Louise
Friday, December 2, 2005
OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDCHILDREN
Kids and Elderly
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in
the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his
head. His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a
little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across
the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing
that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face,
and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he said.
*********************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four."
***********************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y"
to "i" and add "es."
(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)
****************************************
" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
***********************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck"
A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs",
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in
the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his
head. His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a
little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across
the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing
that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face,
and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
**************************************
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
**************************************
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he said.
*********************************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm
four."
***********************************
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
***********************************
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!!"
***************************************
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y"
to "i" and add "es."
(Why wouldn't an English teacher love that one?)
****************************************
" Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
********************************************
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
***********************************
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck"
A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs",
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
SOMEONE ELSE'S GRANDCHILDREN
A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.
1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)
3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. Billy( age 8)
7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)
8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)
Saturday, November 26, 2005
RICHARD SPEAKS
Our oldest Grand-son, Richard is home for a leave from the Air Force.
He came into our family when our daughter married his Dad 11 years ago.
He was 10 years old when he became our grandson and we love him very much.
Right now, he is stacking firewood outside of the solarium door. I won't have far to go to keep the fire going this winter.
My husband has Rotater Cuff surgery last Monday and cannot stack the wood or do any lifting for at least 6-8 weeks. I have been doing everything... until today!
Thank you, Richard! It's nice to have a grown up Grand-son who is willing to help with the wood and other heavy tasks around the house.
I love you, Richard!
Bama aka Mary Louise
Sunday, November 20, 2005
MICHAEL...THE BOY SCOUT
This is my grandson, Michael.
See that smile on his face!!!
He is a new Boy Scout.
I love you, Michael!
Bama aka Mary Louise
Friday, November 18, 2005
LAUREN...THE BROWNIE
We have a new Brownie in the family!
She looks just like her Mom did when she was 7 years old!
It was like going back in time when I saw this picture!!!
Lauren is wearing the Brownie hat that her Mom wore so many years ago.
I love you, Lauren!
Bama aka mary Louise
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