Wednesday, April 27, 2005


Almost better than a cup of coffee to start your morning....

If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.

These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The
body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Grandma, How old are you?

I am 39 and holding!

Oh, Then how old will you be when... You let go???


Bama  aka Mary Louise

Thursday, April 21, 2005


We found two abandoned bunnies in our yard the other day.

Jordan ( 10 ) wants to be a Vet. She adores animals and took them home to raise until they can be on their own.

They are doing fine. They are eating and can be released soon.

Good Job, Jordan.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


My sister, Betty is in Missouri visiting with my daughter and her family for the week.

Betty called this morning to tell me what Lauren said last night.

They were at a restaurant waiting for my daughter and her husband to get there. They were in the restaurants loft waiting and the bar tender came over and asked if they would like something to drink. Betty ordered and asked Michael and Lauren what they would like to drink.

Lauren ordered a Shirley Temple and Michael spoke up and said her wanted a big sprite.

The bartender said, are you sure that you want a large, they are really big.

Lauren looked at the bartender and said,

Yes, he does....He is a Big Drinker!

Betty nearly fell out of her chair laughing. The bartender laughed all the way to back for the drinks and all the way back to their table.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Tuesday, April 19, 2005







Sunday, April 17, 2005



Thursday, April 14, 2005




(BAMA TO MICHAEL).....What have you been doing lately?

[Michael]  HI Bama!  I have been playing my Pokemon game.  I have a new one


Are you playing any sports?

[Michael] Soccer.  And Basketball.  Sometimes


Papa is away right now and so I am here by myself. Peco keeps me company.

I went outside and fed Doc and gave him some water. He was glad to see me.

[Michael]  Are the dogs OK?  Are they sick? 


I hear that you like Pokey Mon. What do you like about him?

I don't think that I spelled his name right!

[Michael] Pokemon is a show.  I like to watch it.  And play the games on my game boy.  In the show.. there are many types of Pokemon. 


I better go because I need to go to the store.

Bye and I love you!

[Michael] I love you too.  I miss you bama!



(BAMA TO LAUREN) I thought flat Stanley was funny! Did you enjoy reading about him? 

[Lauren] Yes… he was so flat he could go anywhere!

Where did the other children's friends take him?

[Lauren] He went to Africa!  And places here in America.


The fish are starting to swim around the pond again. They slept all winter.

We can feed them when the water temperature reaches 50 degrees. I bet they will be hungry!

[Lauren] I want to feed them!  Save some food for me to feed them when I see you in June!


Are you still wearing the socks that I made for you? Do you need any more? Let me know.

[Lauren] Yes!  I love the socks.  My feet are growing and I can’t wear some of them any more.  So Mommie is sending them in a box to Cara.  I would love to have more.  Mommie say I wear a size 2 and a half shoe.  And solid colors work the best!  But you know my favorite color is pink!


I Love you and miss you.

Write to me sometime.

[Lauren] I love you to Bama… thank you for the picture of me with the old lady.  She was pretty.  And I was too!

( I sent Lauren a picture of her great, great, great, great Grandmother and I put it with a picture of her) If you would like to see the picture go to...


Love Lauren







Tuesday, April 12, 2005


My cell phone rang yesterday and when I answered, a little voice said; Hello?

I thought that it was my grandaughter, Jordan and so I said; Hi Jordan.

The voice said; I am not Jordan, Bama. I am Christopher!!!


Well, hello Christopher, I'm glad that you called. What's going on?

Nothing Bama. I didn't mean to call you. I was calling Mom's cell phone!

Oh..OK. Would you still like to talk?


I just hit the wrong button...Bye!

That's my Christopher...short and to the point!

BAMA   AKA   Mary Louise

Saturday, April 9, 2005


Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 

2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.  
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.   
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.   

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.     
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.   
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?   

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot. 

2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.   

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.  
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work. 

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.  
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time. 

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.   

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.   

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Friday, April 8, 2005


My grandaughter, Lauren asked me one time....

Bama, what does it feel like to be old!!!!


My answer was....

Lauren, it feels like being young...Just slower!

She said; Oh, your just not in a hurry to die?


No, I'm just going slow to enjoy every minute with you!

She smiled and my answer was OK with her.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Tuesday, April 5, 2005


Your Monday Photo Shoot: Action! Catch something or someone in the middle of movement. If needed, explain what we're seeing. It can be anything: People, pets, animals, machines -- just catch them on the move.