THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

I thought this article was ...right on!

Enjoy,

Bama

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't' t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it  sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children . . (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN:

God's reward for allowing your children to live!

 

THE MONSTER MACHINE AND BAMA

I am the envy of all of my grand children today!

I had the priviledge of riding in a monster earth moving machine yesterday!

We went to Indian Lake to check on the building of our lake house.

We stood out of the way of the big machines as they passed.

One monster stopped and a nice guy walked over to my husband and me and asked if I would like a ride!

I climbed the 6 steps into the cab, high above the ground and watched as the sleigh being pulled behind the machine scraped up the earth for a water canal.

What a thrill...

As the Grand-children would say...

It was awesome!

It was totally Sweet!!!!!

Bama

THE OLD DAY'S

UNFORTUNATELY...WE LIVE IN A DIFFERENT WORLD TODAY!  BAMA

 

 TO ALL THE KIDS

WHO SURVIVED the
1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no child proof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.


Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.


We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.


We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and

NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because .

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.



We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down
the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,

made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno<SPAN class=spell id=sp-5 title="Click here to replace with: caked, deck, cocked, kicked, necked, pecked" style="PADDING-RIGHT: 2px; BACKGROUND-POSITION: left bottom; PADDING-LEFT: 2px; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(http://sdk.webmail.aol.com/sdk/20050527/images/bg_spellingErr.gif); PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; CURSOR: pointer; COLOR: black; PADDING-TOP: 2px; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat-x; BACKGROUND-COLOR: yellow" _backupTitle="null"> on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had try outs and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives

for our own good

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

FOOTBALL TIME

GRANDSON, CAMERON!

IT'S FOOTBALL TIME IN OHIO!

 

BAMA

FUN WITH DAD!

MIKE, MICHAEL, LAUREN

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES!

     My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62."     He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, Did you start at 1?
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     After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, Who was THAT?
 
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
 The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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 My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
            I mentally polished my halo while I asked, No, how are we alike?

You're both old," he replied. 
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      A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
 
       "What's it about?" he asked.
 "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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        I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself 
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           A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
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     Our five-year-old grandson couldn't wait to tell his grandfather about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
        
     With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Grampa, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
      
      When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
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           When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
        Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four to six.
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     A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
     The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
     "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'I and add 'es'    

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      Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
 
      
     The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

     The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
     Sure, said the young boy confidently. It means carrying a child.

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      A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
 
           No, said another, "he's just for good luck.

      A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
 
 
 
      

CAMERON'S JOY!