Thursday, December 22, 2005

THE WONDER OF CHRISTMAS

My Grand-daughter, Lauren.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

MICHAEL AND LAUREN SPEAK

What a honor!!!

Listening to a story read by Santa Claus.

I love you Michael and Lauren!

Enjoy the wonder of Santa!

Bama   aka   Mary Louise

Friday, December 2, 2005

OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDCHILDREN

Kids and Elderly

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children  were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was  decorating them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to  paint!" a girl in
the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little  boy dropped his
head. His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your  freckles. When I was a
little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across
the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" 
The boy looked up,  "Really?" 
"Of course,"  said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing
that's prettier than  freckles."  The little  boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face,
and softly  whispered, "Wrinkles."

**************************************  
A  grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was  like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild  raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this  in. At last she said, "I sure
wish I'd gotten to know you  sooner!"  
**************************************  
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, Grandma, do you know  how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how  are we alike?"
"You're  both old," he said.
*********************************  
When  my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied "I'm not sure."  
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm 
four."  
***********************************  
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.  
They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher  asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall,  and quoted,
"Thou shall not  take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
***********************************  
Our  five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had  watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the  submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.  
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted  Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it  was the 20,000
leaks!!"  
***************************************  
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,  
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies  today."
The mother, more  than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make  babies?"
"It's simple,"  replied the girl. "You just change "y"
to "i" and add "es."  
(Why wouldn't an English  teacher love that one?)
****************************************  
"  Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The small  boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."  
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.  "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."  
********************************************  
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.  
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the  worst cup of coffee in her life.
When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these  army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The  best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

*********************************** 

A  nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one  day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck  was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster. 

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck" 

A third child brought  the argument to a close..."They use the dogs",
she said firmly, "to find the  fire hydrant."

  



 



Tuesday, November 29, 2005

SOMEONE ELSE'S GRANDCHILDREN


 A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea."   Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.
 1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)
 
2. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)
 
3. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)
 
4. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)
 
5. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)
 
6. A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. Billy( age 8)
 
7. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

 8. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)
 
9. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. 
How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)
 

10. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6) 

Saturday, November 26, 2005

RICHARD SPEAKS

Our oldest Grand-son, Richard is home for a leave from the Air Force.

He came into our family when our daughter married his Dad 11 years ago.

He was 10 years old when he became our grandson and we love him very much.

Right now, he is stacking firewood outside of the solarium door. I won't have far to go to keep the fire going this winter.

My husband has Rotater Cuff surgery last Monday and cannot stack the wood or do any lifting for at least 6-8 weeks. I have been doing everything... until today!

Thank you, Richard! It's nice to have a grown up Grand-son who is willing to help with the wood and other heavy tasks around the house.

I love you, Richard!

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Sunday, November 20, 2005

MICHAEL...THE BOY SCOUT

This is my grandson, Michael.

See that smile on his face!!!

He is a new Boy Scout.

I love you, Michael!

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Friday, November 18, 2005

LAUREN...THE BROWNIE

We have a new Brownie in the family!

She looks just like her Mom did when she was 7 years old!

It was like going back in time when I saw this picture!!!

Lauren is wearing the Brownie hat that her Mom wore so many years ago.

I love you, Lauren!

Bama   aka  mary Louise

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

THE ADD BANNERS

I DON'T APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT AOL HAS PUT ADD BANNERS AT THE TOP OF OUR "PRIVATE" JOURNALS!

TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS.

HEY..THEY COULD HAVE ASKED OUR PERMISSION BEFORE DOING THIS.

WRITE TO..

JournalChanges@aol.com 

LETTERS TO GOD

Monday, November 14, 2005

OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDCHILDREN


Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!

Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said,

"I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Her trial starts next month.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

MICHAEL SPEAKS

Where has the time gone?

Michael is 9 years old today!

I love you, Michael!

Happy Birthday!

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Friday, October 28, 2005

CAMERON'S SCHOOL PICTURE

Cameron was very proud that his bottom tooth has come out!

He has also lost his two front teeth.

I think the toothless smiles are the best!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

EVERYONE IS COMING HOME

All of our children and grand children will be here next weekend.

It will be a house full but I am looking forward to their visit.

I just hope that I have all the energy that I need!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

MEET CALEB

Caleb by the fire!

 

Bama

Friday, October 14, 2005

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JORDAN

Sunday is my grand daughter's birthday!

It seems like yesterday that I was in the delivery room and held her for the first time.

How fast 11 years can drift by!

Happy Birthday, Jordan

I love you!

Bama

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

PREGNANCY, ESTROGEN AND WOMEN

I found this in "Brandies World journal

Pregnancy, Estrogen, and Women
 PREGNANCY Q & A & more!
 

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
 A: No, 35 children is enough.

 Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
 A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

 Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
 A: Childbirth.

 Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
 borderline irrational.
 A: So what's your question?

 Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor,
but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

 Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

 Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
is in labor?
 A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

 Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
 A: Yes, pregnancy.

 Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
 A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

 Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
 normal again?
 A: When the kids are in college.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

THE ALPHABET SONG

Cold and flu season is upon us.

My Doctor said to wash my hands for 20 seconds to kill germs.

I was telling my daughter this one day a few years ago, when my grand daughter said.

Bama, 20 seconds is easy.

It is, I replied?

Yes, she said.

Just wash your hands to the alphabet song. My teacher said that that is long enough to kill germs.

Then she sang it.

A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,LMNOP,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z

NOW I'VE SAID MY ABC'S....

NEXT TIME WON'T YOU SING WITH ME.

I thanked her and the next day...I timed it and it was exactly 20 seconds.

So now, when I wash my hands...I sing the alaphbet song. Mostly, to myself, I don't want the guy's with the straight jacket to come for me!

Smart teacher and smart grand daughter.

Thank you, Jordan.

Bama  aka   Mary Louise

Saturday, September 24, 2005

GRANDPARENT'S DAY

Lauren ( 6 ) called me yesterday.

It was Grandparents day at her school. We live too far away to go and so she called me instead with a run down of the day.

There was only one other student in her class that didn't have a grandparent there. ( guilt, guilt).

The call went like this.

Hello, Bama, this is Lauren. Happy Grandparents Day!

Thank you Lauren, are you having a fun day?

I'm sorry that I couldn't be there like I was last year.

Me too, Bama.

Why don't you make an announcement to your class about how much your Grandmother loves you?

I'm not allowed to make announcements, Bama!

You could stand on your chair and shout. My Bama loves me!

Ohhh, Bama, I would get in so much trouble if I stood on my chair!

OK...it is just important that YOU know how much I love you and miss you.

I know, Bama. I love you too!

Ahhhh, Bama....Don't tell me to do things that could get me in trouble.

OK Lauren, I won't do that again.

Good, Bama because we need to listen and do what we are told.

OK Lauren, I'll remember.

Bye, sweetie!

Bye, Bama!

AHHHH, the reprimand of a 6 year old really cuts to the quick!

Bama    aka  Mary Louise

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

TODAYS QUOTE

 

                                    Today's Quote

The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill.

-W. Clement Stone

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Michael

Michael  ( 8 ) called me not long ago to say that he had scored a goal in soccer.

It is nice to be a GrandMother.

All the good with None of the bad.

All the fun with none of the work!

All of the kisses just because....

Yes, Grand Mother is a good place to be and.....

I've earned the right to spoil my grand children and watch their parents faces.......

as I give them candy, money, laughter and a sugar high when they leave my house!

This is SOOOO fun!

Bama   aka   Mary Louise

 

Thursday, September 1, 2005

HURRICANE KATRINA

THE RED CROSS NEEDS DONATIONS FOR THE PEOPLE ALONG THE GULF COAST.

PLEASE DONATE TODAY....

http://www.redcross.org/

Sunday, August 21, 2005

SHOPPING FOR JORDAN

My grand-daughter, Jordan will be 11 in October.

I had such fun the other day shopping for her. I went to the mall and went a BIT crazy shopping.

She now has several up to date outfits to wear back to school.

I love to buy things for Jordan because she appreciates anything that you do for her.

I asked her if the girls were wearing knee socks now.

Her reply was....I like knee socks and I don't care if the other girls are wearing them or not...I will!

So, I bought her the new little scooter skirts to wear with knee socks!

It is nice to shop for a grand daughter!

Bama aka mary Louise

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

NEED HELP...NIGHTMARES IN CHILDREN

My grandson is 8 years old and will not go to bed because of nightmares.

My daughter has tried everything.

Does anyone know what to do?

Bama

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

SUMMER JOY

SUMMER JOY~~~~~~~~

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Shout, Shout, Let it All Out


For this week's Photo Shoot, I thought we might have some fun with catharsis:

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

CHRISTOPHER SPEAKS

Christopher asked his Grandfather a question last Sunday while he was over for a swim.

Christopher:  Papa John.....Why is your hair grey?

Papa John:    Because I am an old man.

Christopher thought a moment and said.....

Bama, Your old too...so why is your hair not grey?

Bama:  Clairol, Christopher...Clairol

He never questioned my answer....

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Thursday, July 28, 2005

SUNDAY AFTERNOON SWIM

Four of our grandchildren came over last sunday to swim.

We had a great day and even went to KFC to get chicken for supper.

That was a real treat because we don't do the KFC thing much anymore.

I am glad that they live close enough to come and swim. It is fun to watch them and my husband and I wish that we had just a forth of their energy!

We have Sunday afternoons open every summer for a family afternoon of fun, sun and swimming.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

NEED PRAYERS

My daughter and her 2 children are on the road. They left this morning driving from Missouri to Santa Barbara, Ca.

It is a 3 day trip and I am worried about the day through the desert.

Please keep Melissa, Michael and Lauren in your prayers.

I'll let you know when they arrive.

Bama   AKA  Mary Louise

Saturday, July 16, 2005

A FRIEND'S DAUGHTER

A friend of mine told me this story about his 7 year old daughter.

They had friends over for dinner one evening. They were ready to sit down to dinner when he noticed his daughter working busily on  a book in the corner of the room.

He walked over to ask her to wash her hands and come to the table.

What he found when he reached his daughter was an encyclopedia book opened and a picture of the world had been torn out and ripped into tiny pieces.

He asked his daughter why she had torn the picture from the book and she started to cry and said she was making a puzzle.

He told her that she could not come to the table and eat until she had taped the pieces back together and put them in the book. He gave her the tape and told her to get started.

He figured that it would take her most of the evening and she would miss dinner.

About 5 minutes later his daughter came to the table. he was sure that she had not completed the task, so he asked her to bring the picture of the world to him so that he could see it.

She slid off of her chair and came back and handed him the picture of the world and it was complete and in the right order.

Amazed, he asked her how she had put the world back together so fast!

Well Daddy, she said.

On the other side of the world is a picture of a man. I knew that if I put the man back together...The world would be put back together too!

A child's mind..... not cluttered by the way an adult would have gone about the project of putting the world back together.

Bama    AKA  Mary Louise

Monday, June 20, 2005

SOMEONE ELSES GRANDCHILDREN




1.  Dear God,
please put another holiday
between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now. 
Amanda



2.  Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother
but what I asked for was a puppy. 
I never asked for anything before. 
You can look it up. 
Joyce



3.  Dear Mr. 
God, I wish you would not make it so easy
for people to come apart
I had to have 3 stitches and a shot. 
Janet



4.  God,
I read the bible. 
What does beget mean? 
Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison



5.  Dear God,
how did you know you were God? 
Who told you? 
Charlene



6.  Dear God,
is it true my father
won't get in Heaven
if he uses his golf words in the house? 
Anita



7.  Dear God,
I bet it's very hard for you
to love all of everybody in the whole world. 
There are only 4 people in our family
and I can never do it. 
Nancy



8.  Dear God,
I like the story about Noah
the best of all of them. 
You really made up some good ones. 
I like walking on water, too. 
Glenn



9.  Dear God,
my Grandpa says you were around
when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go? 
Love, Dennis



10.  Dear God,
do you draw the lines around the countries? 
If you don't, who does? 
Nathan



11.  Dear God,
did you mean for giraffes
to look like that or was it an accident? 
Norma



12.  Dear God,
in bible times,
did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer



13.  Dear God,
how come you did all those miracles
in the old days and don't do any now? 
Billy



14.  Dear God,
please send Dennis Clark
to a different summer camp this year. 
Peter



15.  Dear God,
maybe Cain and Abel
would not kill each other so much
if they each had their own rooms. 
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry



16.  Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring,
but it never did come yet.
What's up?  Don't forget. 
Mark



17.  Dear God,
my brother told me about
how you are born
but it just doesn't sound right. 
What do you say? 
Marsha



18.  Dear God,
if you watch in Church on Sunday
I will show you my new shoes. 
Barbara



19.  Dear God,
is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,
or do you just know him through the business? 
Donny



20.  Dear God,
I do not think anybody
could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that. 
I am not just saying that because
you are already God. 
Charles



21.  Dear God,
it is great the way you always
get the stars in the right place. 
Why can't you do that with the moon? 
Jeff



22.  Dear God,
I am doing the best I can. 
Really !!!!
Frank



And, saving the best for last .  .

23.  Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple
until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night. 
That was really cool. 
Thomas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.incredimail.com/index.asp?id=54475

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

JORDAN SPEAKS

Jordan, 10 is eagerly awaiting the bloom of pre-teendom.

She announced to her Mother the other day that she thought that she was getting breasts and needed to get a bra.

Her Mom took her shopping and bought 2 training bra's for her to wear.

She was at our house on Sunday and pulled and tugged at the bra all afternoon.

My baby is growing up!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Saturday, May 21, 2005

LAUREN JUST KEEPS SPEAKING

Michael and lauren were spending the night with me. Michael was  reading his book to Lauren and me when Lauren said;

Bama, Why do you have crackes in your face?????

 

Out of the mouths of Babes......

Friday, May 20, 2005

LAUREN SPEAKS AGAIN

My daughter and her two children are flying to Miami today.

They decided to park at a Park and Fly instead of at the airport.

Melissa just called to tell me what Lauren (6) said.

It turns out that the shuttle to the airport was a Limousine.  Lauren and Michael (8) were very impressed with their ride to the airport.

When they got into the limousine Lauren (6) said with excitement in her voice,

Mom, I've never ridden backwards before!

This is Totally Wicked!!!!!!

Melissa told me in our language that meant...Way Cool!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

LAUREN SPEAKS

Lauren is my Grand Daughter. She sounded out the words to write. If you sound them out, you will know what she is writing.

This letter was an assignment in Lauren’s 1st Grade class.  The teacher told the class they could write a letter to anyone they wanted… Lauren chose to write to God…  Here is her touching way of saying hi… I copied it word for word… even her way of spelling the words…  Enjoy life through a child’s eyes!

 

“Dear God.

God you are the best.  God you are my very very best friend.  God what is your favorite color?  God what are you waring to day? 

God do you wary a hat?  God you are nice.  God is fantastick.  God is a good giy( guy).  God loves me and I love God to.  I wonder if he is waching me and you boys and grls.

I wonder if he likes to dancs eat or play.  I like to play and eat.  I wonder if he nos how to fly up in the skay(sky).  I love God.  I like God.

I pray for God. 

God is the very very very best prsin in the worlred.  God is better thin( than) ine (any) botte(body).  Every day is a good day to pray for God and Jeces to.  I love God.  I have a cros to pray for God.  And God loves every botte.  And God has supr powers.

Love Lauren

BAMA   AKA   MARY LOUISE

 

Monday, May 9, 2005

THE BUNNY EXPIRED

My daughter and her family came by yesterday evening to wish me a Happy Mother's day.

They gave me the book "You" that was featured on Oprah. I will read it and put some of the information in place in my daily life.

While they were here, Jordan ( 10 ) told me that the other wild bunny that we found had died.

I told her that I knew that she had done her best to take care of it and she said that she had.

I asked her if she was sad that the bunny had died and she said yes. I also asked if they had a funeral for the bunny.

She said, Yes we did.

I asked if it was a sad funeral and she said no.

Then she said...

You know, we have had a lot of funerals at our house and you just get used to them!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Saturday, May 7, 2005

RULES OF LIFE TO CHILDREN...LISTEN UP KIDDIES!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did
not and will not  learn in school.  He talks about how feel-good,
politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept
of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
whether or not he really made this speech...someone should !
 
Rule 1:  Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2:  The world won't care about your self-esteem. The  world will expect
you to  accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about  yourself.

Rule 3:  You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.  You
won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4:  If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5:  Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.  Your 
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:   they called it
opportunity.

Rule 6:  If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine  about
your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are
now.  They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and
listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.  So before you
save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's  generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8:  Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life
HAS NOT.  In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll
give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.  This doesn't
bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9:  Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and
very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.   Do that on
your own time.

Rule 10:  Television is NOT real life.  In real life people actually 
have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

THE BIRTHDAY DANCE

What a nice birthday!

Four of my grandchildren planned a surprise for me.

We were invited to my daughter's house for my birthday supper. Everything was delicious and from the time we arrived, the children were whispering and said that they had a surprise for my birthday.

After dinner they were ready and I didn't know what to expect.

It was one of those "bell ringing" moments in my life.

The children joined hands and jumped around dancing, while singing Happy Birthday to Bama.

It was a special, wonderful, one of a kind birthday present that I will never forget.

 

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

OTHER PEOPLE'S GRANDCHILDREN

Almost better than a cup of coffee to start your morning....


If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.


These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The
body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

SOME OTHER PERSONS GRANDCHILD

Grandma, How old are you?

I am 39 and holding!

Oh, Then how old will you be when... You let go???

 

Bama  aka Mary Louise

Thursday, April 21, 2005

JORDAN SPEAKS

We found two abandoned bunnies in our yard the other day.

Jordan ( 10 ) wants to be a Vet. She adores animals and took them home to raise until they can be on their own.

They are doing fine. They are eating and can be released soon.

Good Job, Jordan.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

MICHAEL AND LAUREN SPEAK

My sister, Betty is in Missouri visiting with my daughter and her family for the week.

Betty called this morning to tell me what Lauren said last night.

They were at a restaurant waiting for my daughter and her husband to get there. They were in the restaurants loft waiting and the bar tender came over and asked if they would like something to drink. Betty ordered and asked Michael and Lauren what they would like to drink.

Lauren ordered a Shirley Temple and Michael spoke up and said her wanted a big sprite.

The bartender said, are you sure that you want a large, they are really big.

Lauren looked at the bartender and said,

Yes, he does....He is a Big Drinker!

Betty nearly fell out of her chair laughing. The bartender laughed all the way to back for the drinks and all the way back to their table.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

REMEMBERING OKLAHOMA CITY

 

REMEMBERING ALL OF THE PEOPLE AND ESPECIALLY THE CHILDREN WHO DIED IN OKLAHOMA CITY .........

10 YEARS AGO TODAY!

                            

              

Sunday, April 17, 2005

LAUREN SPEAKS

THE WONDER OF FLYING A KITE!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

E-MAILS FROM MY GRANDCHILDREN

HERE ARE THE E-MAILS THAT I RECIEVED FROM MY GRANDCHILDREN, MICHAEL AND LAUREN. THEY LIVE IN ANOTHER STATE.

 

(BAMA TO MICHAEL).....What have you been doing lately?

[Michael]  HI Bama!  I have been playing my Pokemon game.  I have a new one

 

Are you playing any sports?

[Michael] Soccer.  And Basketball.  Sometimes

 

Papa is away right now and so I am here by myself. Peco keeps me company.

I went outside and fed Doc and gave him some water. He was glad to see me.

[Michael]  Are the dogs OK?  Are they sick? 

 

I hear that you like Pokey Mon. What do you like about him?

I don't think that I spelled his name right!

[Michael] Pokemon is a show.  I like to watch it.  And play the games on my game boy.  In the show.. there are many types of Pokemon. 

 

I better go because I need to go to the store.

Bye and I love you!

[Michael] I love you too.  I miss you bama!

 

E-MAIL FROM FROM LAUREN

(BAMA TO LAUREN) I thought flat Stanley was funny! Did you enjoy reading about him? 

[Lauren] Yes… he was so flat he could go anywhere!

Where did the other children's friends take him?

[Lauren] He went to Africa!  And places here in America.

 

The fish are starting to swim around the pond again. They slept all winter.

We can feed them when the water temperature reaches 50 degrees. I bet they will be hungry!

[Lauren] I want to feed them!  Save some food for me to feed them when I see you in June!

 

Are you still wearing the socks that I made for you? Do you need any more? Let me know.

[Lauren] Yes!  I love the socks.  My feet are growing and I can’t wear some of them any more.  So Mommie is sending them in a box to Cara.  I would love to have more.  Mommie say I wear a size 2 and a half shoe.  And solid colors work the best!  But you know my favorite color is pink!

 

I Love you and miss you.

Write to me sometime.

[Lauren] I love you to Bama… thank you for the picture of me with the old lady.  She was pretty.  And I was too!

( I sent Lauren a picture of her great, great, great, great Grandmother and I put it with a picture of her) If you would like to see the picture go to...

http://journals.aol.com/mlrhjeh/MARYLOUISESPHOTOSHOOT

 

Love Lauren

 

Love,

Bama

 

 

 

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

HELLO BAMA

My cell phone rang yesterday and when I answered, a little voice said; Hello?

I thought that it was my grandaughter, Jordan and so I said; Hi Jordan.

The voice said; I am not Jordan, Bama. I am Christopher!!!

Woops!

Well, hello Christopher, I'm glad that you called. What's going on?

Nothing Bama. I didn't mean to call you. I was calling Mom's cell phone!

Oh..OK. Would you still like to talk?

No.

I just hit the wrong button...Bye!

That's my Christopher...short and to the point!

BAMA   AKA   Mary Louise

Saturday, April 9, 2005

WHY GOD MADE MOTHERS

 
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 

2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.  
 
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
 
 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
 
 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.   
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.   

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
 
 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.     
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
 
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
 
3. They say she used to be nice.   
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
 
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?   

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot. 

2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.   

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 

3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.  
  
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work. 

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 

3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.  
  
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time. 

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.   

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.   

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. 

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Friday, April 8, 2005

THE QUESTION

My grandaughter, Lauren asked me one time....

Bama, what does it feel like to be old!!!!

AHHHHHHHHH!

My answer was....

Lauren, it feels like being young...Just slower!

She said; Oh, your just not in a hurry to die?

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

No, I'm just going slow to enjoy every minute with you!

She smiled and my answer was OK with her.

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Tuesday, April 5, 2005

THE LAUNCH OF DISCOVERY

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Action! Catch something or someone in the middle of movement. If needed, explain what we're seeing. It can be anything: People, pets, animals, machines -- just catch them on the move.

Monday, March 28, 2005

MEET...FLAT STANLEY

MOM, 

   Lauren’s class is reading a book about flat Stanley… and they make their own and send them around the world.  People then send pictures back with where Stanley has been.  

     

This is Flat Stanley on a road trip in California.

Sent to Lauren from her uncle Ross.

    

     Flat Stanley by the fire

This was so fun to see!

Now it's my turn to take Flat Stanley around Dayton!

 

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

JORDAN SPEAKS

Jordan ( 10 years old) raised a interesting question.

She said that everyone was talking about what a bad man Sadam was.

She said that he had done some really bad things and everyone hated him.

Then she offered this...

Instead of  just hating him...

Shouldn't we be praying for him?

Hummmmmmm!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

Saturday, March 26, 2005

CALEB SPEAKS

I have never been a good traveler in a car. It seems that I have passed that gene to my grandson, Caleb, age 4.

His family recently went on a road trip from Ohio to Missouri.

My daughter said that they had not reached the city limits of their town when Caleb called out from his seat in the back and said....

Are we in Missouri yet?

It was a LONG trip!

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Friday, March 11, 2005

SOME OTHER PERSONS GRANDCHILD

My sister is a kindergarten teacher in Georgia.

She said that the children were to bring a picture to class and talk about it.

One little boy brought a picture of his Dad making a rescue at sea.

His Dad is with the Coast Guard.

After explaining the picture to the class, all the children had reasons why someone had to be rescued.

One child said this...

Well, that person swam to far past the Boobs ( Buoy) and had to have help to get back!

Barbara said it was all she could do to keep a straight face because the child was so serious.

So, if your out there swimming people,

Watch OUT  for the Boobs!      

Bama AKA Mary Louise

Monday, March 7, 2005

Grandsons

Here are two of my handsome grandson's.

Christopher and Cameron.

They are special lights in my life.

You can just look at their faces and understand why!

Bama  aka  Mary Louise

Friday, March 4, 2005

POSITION AVAILABVLE

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.


BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005

WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?

  WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)


Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also - Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."


They don't say, "Hurry up."

Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like "Why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.


A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''

Thursday, February 24, 2005

THE TOOTH FAIRY VISIT

When my son was 5 years old, I would ask him to draw a picture of how he was feeling about something.

The night after the Tooth Fairy visited him, I found this drawing on the kitchen table

Sunday, February 20, 2005

HI TECH LETTER WRITING.

No snail mail any longer. My grandaughter, Lauren, (6 years old) and I communicate by E-mail now.

Hi Lauren,

How are you?

[Lauren]

I am fine today.  I hope you feel better… mommie said you are sick.  :::HUG:::  Here is a hug to keep you better.

 

Are you playing with your friends?

[Lauren]

Yes… I am playing with my friends.  My best friend is moving. 

 

I enjoyed being at your house. It was fun!

[Lauren]

I miss you and Papa & Peco. 

 

I love you very much.

 

Please write me back sometime.

 

Love you,

Bama

[Lauren]

I love you very very very very very very very much.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

My sister, Barbara is a kindergarten teacher in Georgia.

This past weekend she had her hair cut very short. When she went back to school this week a little boy said, Mrs D. you got your hair cut.

Yes, she replied.

Then he said,

My Grandma has a boy haircut too!

Bama   aka  Mary Louise

 

 

Friday, February 4, 2005

OUR VISIT WITH MICHAEL AND LAUREN

We visited with our daughter and her family the last of January.

It was fun to be with them. They recently moved to Missouri.

We were eating at a barbeque place when this picture was taken.

That is me holding Lauren. Michael in background, Mike, Melissa and my husband John.

This is a picture of John and me at Big Cedar Lodge in the Ozarks.

This is a picture of our daughter, Melissa and our son-in-law, Mike at Big Cedar Lodge.

We consider Mike our...Son!

We had such a good time and the children did not want us to leave but it was a good 12 hour drive back to Ohio. We home traveled on interstate 70 with every big truck in the world!!!!!

It is good to be home again with memories of a fun week in the beautiful Ozarks!

ML