Monday, August 28, 2006

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

I thought this article was ...right on!

Enjoy,

Bama

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby:
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't' t do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette
:
1st baby:
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it  sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children . . (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)

GRANDCHILDREN:


God's reward for allowing your children to live!

 

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